If I see one more post or quote portraying an encouragement to the ‘single’, I might be concerned. Scrolling through my Facebook wall on a faithful day and a lady posted, and I rephrase “Getting married is not an accomplishment…”
Oh well, I really do not know where that came from. A few minutes into my scrolling, I had a ‘eureka’ moment. Alas, it was a post about “God has not forgotten you if you are single and you should know He is working someone special for you…”
I understand, but then I also do not get it. Sharp questions ran through my mind…Why? Why? Why? First things first, what does the word single mean? Second of all, who defined singleness? The most pressing question is: ‘Is it me, or is there a stereotype to the word ‘single’ and when did it begin to sound like a condition that needs a lot of encouragement…Like a state of survival. In the light of reasoning, it seems like there is a war case and there are victims to be rescued.
In this case, the war is the state of singleness and the victims are those tagged ‘Singles’. Aha! It is not a disease nor a state to escape from…I like to believe it is a season of life, nothing more, nothing less. No offense to the ‘encouragers’ or those that see this state as one that requires a rescue line, but could we please take it down a notch.
It becomes a big deal when people no longer want to embrace this season of life, because they are made to believe that it needs to be fast-paced. It is not a ‘fast-food’ state of existence, on the contrary, it is a beautiful season of discovery. So could we kindly stop the guilty-tripping posts that go this way: ‘being single is not the end of the world, you’re coming out stronger…’
Or maybe that one was a little exaggerated, but that’s exactly how I read posts splattered all over the ‘single’ encouragement sphere. Could we start putting up post like: ‘awww…I’m loving this state of being single, it’s a perfect preparation for marriage.’ Amen to this!
In the process, you need to first fall in love with yourself and learn to live with yourself, before you get married. It goes to say that the ‘encouragement party’ should go out to the married with more intensity. You get, because then you have to live with yourself, your spouse, and Children along the way.
And while we are at it, reading this write-up, do not for a moment think I’m just pained. Maybe I was when I started out, but now I have much clarity. Being single is an accomplishment in its own right, not a painful state to shy away from…getting married is only a complement to this season, not necessarily an upgrade.
This will save you a lot of heartbreak, confusion and regrets, when you finally embrace this season of life and reduce the effects of encouragement gone wrong. God can never forget you, whether you’re single or married, so be happy.