Single or Married?

If I see one more post or quote portraying an encouragement to the ‘single’, I might be concerned. Scrolling through my Facebook wall on a faithful day and a lady posted, and I rephrase “Getting married is not an accomplishment…”

Oh well, I really do not know where that came from. A few minutes into my scrolling, I had a ‘eureka’ moment. Alas, it was a post about “God has not forgotten you if you are single and you should know He is working someone special for you…” 

I understand, but then I also do not get it. Sharp questions ran through my mind…Why? Why? Why? First things first, what does the word single mean? Second of all, who defined singleness? The most pressing question is: ‘Is it me, or is there a stereotype to the word ‘single’ and when did it begin to sound like a condition that needs a lot of encouragement…Like a state of survival. In the light of reasoning, it seems like there is a war case and there are victims to be rescued. 

In this case, the war is the state of singleness and the victims are those tagged ‘Singles’. Aha! It is not a disease nor a state to escape from…I like to believe it is a season of life, nothing more, nothing less. No offense to the ‘encouragers’ or those that see this state as one that requires a rescue line, but could we please take it down a notch.

It becomes a big deal when people no longer want to embrace this season of life, because they are made to believe that it needs to be fast-paced. It is not a ‘fast-food’ state of existence, on the contrary, it is a beautiful season of discovery. So could we kindly stop the guilty-tripping posts that go this way: ‘being single is not the end of the world, you’re coming out stronger…’
Or maybe that one was a little exaggerated, but that’s exactly how I read posts splattered all over the ‘single’ encouragement sphere. Could we start putting up post like: ‘awww…I’m loving this state of being single, it’s a perfect preparation for marriage.’ Amen to this!

In the process, you need to first fall in love with yourself and learn to live with yourself, before you get married. It goes to say that the ‘encouragement party’ should go out to the married with more intensity. You get, because then you have to live with yourself, your spouse, and Children along the way. 
And while we are at it, reading this write-up, do not for a moment think I’m just pained. Maybe I was when I started out, but now I have much clarity. Being single is an accomplishment in its own right, not a painful state to shy away from…getting married is only a complement to this season, not necessarily an upgrade.

This will save you a lot of heartbreak, confusion and regrets, when you finally embrace this season of life and reduce the effects of encouragement gone wrong. God can never forget you, whether you’re single or married, so be happy.


19 thoughts on “Single or Married?

  1. Dainty M says:

    Amen sister! I like the angle through which you analyzed this. Indeed, singleness isn’t some condition that people should shy away from. Though society sure puts undue pressure on singles. But as you’ve rightly said, this is the time to learn more about yourself and lead a life pleasing to God and maybe your ‘future partner’. Paul rightly noted that the unmarried have more time to purse the things of God…and I think we should focus on that. Thanks for sharing this gutsy post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • oyide says:

      Yay! Thank God dear. Thank you for reading.
      So, here goes the first post in the ‘truth series’. It posted itself earlier *was very eager* 🙂
      Looking forward to reading your post *dancing*

      Liked by 1 person

    • oyide says:

      Yay! This is awesome…

      I’m so excited about the ‘truth series’. I know I’m not the only one 😜🙋💕💯

      God bless you dear.

      Looking forward to having your write-up. 💃🙌

      Liked by 1 person

    • oyide says:

      Awwwww. Thank you darling. He he he @ tell them. I was even telling me too 🙂
      The trend of ‘you’re either married or almost married’…. It’s overwhelming! And it’s sadly a lie.
      The truth is, ‘you’re either married or single’. Be excited either way.
      Thank you for commenting dear *hugs*


  2. Light Ministry Blog says:

    There’s nothing wrong with being single. I think most people assume a single person is looking for a mate…many if not most singles are. If you’re happy being single and living your life, good for you!


    Liked by 1 person

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